Playing Cupid
by LitterBoxers
Summary: When Harry gets suckered into helping the twins spread Valentine cheer, he gets more than he bargend for.


This is just a little something my muse thought up for the Valentines Day spirit. A big thanks goes out to DoA for helping to write this and putting up with my Muses' odd sense of humor!

Thanks again to DoA for writing this with me and to Lady Lanera for the Beta!

Writen by SnapesWidow2008 and DaughterOfAres

**Playing Cupid**

Harry sat alone in the Gryffindor common room, playing a game of Wizard's chess. Hermione had gone to ask Professor Vector a question about her Arithmancy

essay, and Ron was asleep in the dorm, leaving Harry to fend off boredom on his own. Boredom, it appeared, was winning.

By the time the Black Knight moved to check his king, Harry was ready help Neville repot Mandrakes in the greenhouse. He was about to get up from the couch and put the chess set away when the weight of two people jumping on either side him caused to him upset the entire board.

"Fred, George," Harry said, not even bothering to look at either twin.

"Hiya, Harry!" said the twins in unison.

"What do you want?" he asked, bending to pick up the Black Knight that had fallen.

"Harry!" George said, his hand covering his heart pretending to be offended. "What makes you think we want anything?"

Harry could only smile in return. Hell, he knew it didn't matter what they wanted. He'd do just about anything they asked. They were like brothers to him.

"Of course, Mate," Fred answered Harry's smile with his own. "You could help us spread a little Valentine's Day love."

"You see, Harry," George began, "It's come to our attention that two people in this castle will not be involved with anyone this Valentine's Day. And we simply can't have that, now can we? I mean, those poor souls all alone in the world. No one to care for them or be their Valentines. No one to hug, or kiss, or squeeze, or pet, or..."

"What George means," Fred interrupted, "is that these two souls were meant for each other. And it would be a shame if they never realized it."

"All we really need, Harry," George said, leaning in closer to the boy-who-lived, "is to borrow your invisibility cloak."

"Um..." began Harry, a huge grin plastered on his face, "Just what two 'souls' are we talking about?"

"Why," continued George, "our wondrous Professor Dolores Umbitch and the unfortunate Potions Master Severus Snape, who else?"

Harry looked at George and then turned to look at Fred. Then back to George before clutching his sides and laughing loud enough that the Giant Squid poked his head up out of the lake to see what the fuss was about.

When Harry was finally able to take a deep breath and stop laughing, he turned to Fred. "I though you two almost liked Snape. I mean you're probably the only two Gryffindors he allows to use his Potion's lab outside of class."

"Yes, well," Fred, sighed regretfully. "I'm not sure that counts as 'like,' Harry. The man still takes points left and right. He just recognizes genius when he sees it."

"Besides," added George, "who else in the castle, other than our illustrious Head of House, would dispose of the Umbitch?"

Harry thought about what the twins were saying and really couldn't see the harm in it. If the 'prank' went wrong, than they would just have to deal with two angry professors, not to mention they'd probably end up in detention until they graduated. But if it did work, maybe the two would go off and get hitched, leaving Hogwarts and Harry alone for once.

"I'm in," Harry said, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "What's the plan?"

* * *

Several days after the conversation with Fred and George, Harry found himself wandering down to the dungeons with an Amortentia-coated red rose firmly in hand. Fred and George had delivered most of the roses to Snape's office previously but due to a detention with Umbitch, they couldn't deliver this one. Unfortunately, Harry's cloak was up in Gryffindor Tower when they'd informed him of this. And with the small time frame, he had to be the one to place the rose on Snape's desk. So, Harry was left to hope Snape didn't see him as he cautiously worked his way from the Great Hall to the Dungeons.

Harry's feet moved silently over the stones, and he made sure to check around every corner before turning. His heart was thumping like a funeral drum, slow but loud and steady. If Snape caught him-Harry shuddered immediately, ending that line of thought. He could do this. He'd made it this far. How the bloody hell could Fred and George do this everyday without losing their sanity?

Making it to the Potions Master's office ,Harry was surprised to find the door open. Why would Snape leave the door open? The man was hardly inviting enough for such a gesture. In the five years Harry had been at Hogwarts, he'd never heard of such a thing.

Peaking around the open door, Harry didn't see anyone in the office. Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he cautiously stepped into the office. He nearly jumped at the thud his shoe made as it hit the stone floor. Harry's eyes darted every which way, searching for some kind of trap. This just didn't feel right. Something was off.

As quickly as he could, Harry rushed to Snape's desk. He swore he could feel Snape's eyes boring into him. Though, the man was nowhere in the room. Harry knew that the man was currently supervising a detention in the Potions classroom according to the twins. Placing the rose carefully on the desk and the note saying it was from "A Secret Admirer" beside it, Harry turned and fled the classroom. It must have been the eyes in the jars lining the wall that was making him feel as though he were being watched. Leaving the office with a final shudder, Harry all but ran to the Gryffindor common room. This was the last time he'd ever do Fred and George's dirty work.

* * *

Severus cancelled the Disillusionment Charm and glanced at the red rose sitting on his desk, an exact replica of the seven roses that had been left behind each day for the past week. At first, he thought some wayward student had left it behind after his last class. But after finding another one the next day, Severus knew he was the intended recipient. The fact that the roses were dipped in the love potion Amortentia had Severus thinking it was a sixth or seventh-year student , seeing as how the potion was in the sixth-year Potions text.

The fates must have been in his favor tonight, however, when he decided to lie in wait for his 'Secret Admirer' under a Disillusionment Charm. He smirked when none other than The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Make-His-Life-Hell walked into his office, rose in hand. This was too good to be true. This was just what he needed to finally get the Potter whelp expelled once and for all, but not before he had a little fun.

The next morning, Severus made sure to show up at breakfast late. And instead of entering the Great Hall from the side door designated for staff only, he entered through the big double doors. As he made his way down the center aisle, all conversation stopped as everyone in attendance turned to gawk at their Potions Master. Severus decided to forgo his black teaching robes for his emerald green dress robes, and he had made sure to wash his hair so it hung in shiny black waves across his shoulders.

He stopped his progress to the Head Table as he came to stand next to Potter, whose jaw was currently laying somewhere under the Gryffindor table. Leaning in to whisper in the boy's ear, Severus said, "Do you like the robes, Harry? I picked them out because they matched your eyes." He then straightened up and closed the boy's gaping mouth with his index finger and continued walking to the staff table. He smirked as he sat down at the table and watched as the Potter whelp got up and fled the Great Hall. Phase one was now complete. Now all the real fun could begin.

As the week went on, Severus made it a habit to be in close proximity of Potter whenever he got a chance. He made sure to follow the boy in the halls when he didn't have a class to teach, found an excuse to be in the library when he knew Potter and his friends were there, and made sure he spent a lot of time on the seventh floor during his nights to patrol after curfew.

The icing on the proverbial cake came when Harry had his first Potions class after being found out. "Mr. Potter, I see you are on time today. Ten points to Gryffindor for your punctuality," Severus nearly purred, as Harry sat down at his workbench before the start of class. The look of utter disbelief on the whelp's face was priceless, making Severus wish he had a camera.

Throughout the rest of the class, Severus made it a point to stand behind Harry's chair as he brewed. He had a sick sort of satisfaction at knowing he was making Potter more nervous that usual. As the bell rang to signal the end of class, Severus grabbed the phial of Potter's Potion before the boy could place it on his desk with the others.

"What do we have here?" Severus asked, holding the phial up and turning it between his thumb and index finger. "You have brewed a perfect Pepper Up Potion, Mr. Potter," he lied, knowing that the brown sludge in the vile was useless. "I believe this is the first potion you have brewed worthy of an O," he said, placing the hand not holding the potion on Harry's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Potter jerked out of his grasp and fled for the classroom, no doubt heading for the nearest bathroom to vomit up his lunch, if the green tint of his face was anything to go by.

Severus smiled to himself as he remembered that tomorrow was Valentine's Day. The day he would reveal how he played Harry like the Gryffindor fool that he was.

* * *

Harry rubbed his eyes with his hand as his feet barely lifted off the stone floor. He hadn't been able to sleep in what seemed like an eternity. It seemed like every night his dreams were plagued with images of his Potions Master in positions Harry never wanted to imagine him or any man in. What happened to the nights he closed his eyes and saw beautiful girls slowly unbuttoning their uniforms and running their hands all over him?

He had to confess. That's the only way this nightmare would end. He had to tell Snape everything so the man could take the damn antidote and stop stalking him. Harry had tried his best to avoid Snape hoping the potion would wear off on its own, but it was no use. According to the Maurders' Map, Snape was always close by. It was worse than having his very own paparazzi.

Standing outside the door to Snape's office, Harry took a deep breath before knocking. At least with this new infatuation Snape seemed to have with him, the man was less likely to rip him to shreds. When the door didn't open, Harry went to knock once more. Before his hand could touch the door, a note appeared addressed to him. Harry read the note with repudiation and almost banged his head into the door. Snape wanted to meet with him in the Room of Requirement. This couldn't be good. Harry turned and made his way to the seventh floor, resolving himself just to end the entire mess.

Besides, what was the worst Snape could do him? Harry then shuddered violently as one of his dream Snape's appeared on the floor in front of him in a rather provocative pose. No matter how drugged the man was, Harry doubted he would do that.

The walk to the seventh floor seemed shorter than usual, but Harry hardly noticed. Ever since he'd agreed to help Fred and George with their stupid prank, he'd spent more time with Snape than was healthy. Standing in front of the Room of Requirement, Harry took a deep breath before opening the door. He could do this. He could. Really.

Stepping into the room, his mouth dropped open. As often as that had been happening lately, he was surprised he hadn't eaten any bugs yet. The walls of the room were covered with deep red velvet drapes. Small tables were set up around the room of different heights and shapes. On the tops of the tables sat many candles, giving off the scent of cinnamon and sandalwood. In the center of the room was a small table that had only two candles in its center.

Standing by the table was none other than Snape, looking like some sort of Dark Knight with his hair pulled back and his normal robes missing. Instead, he was wearing only black pants and a black buttoned down shirt.

"I'm glad you could join me, Harry," Snape said in a voice that made Harry want to either cringe or sick up.

"Professor, listen, please!" Harry begged. This nightmare had to end now

"Of course, I'll listen, Harry," Snape replied in a sickenly sweet voice. Who knew the day would come when Harry missed Snape's normal berating tone.

"It was a joke, Professor!" Harry confessed, the words rushing out over his tongue. "The idea was to set you up with Umbridge. I'm sorry, really! If you'll just take the antidote to Amortentia-"

"Amortentia?" Snape repeated, "the most powerful love potion in the world?"

Harry's eyes grew wide, and he stepped back in fear. Something in Snape's tone was off. He didn't sound like he had for the last several days. He sounded more like himself. But that was impossible. The potion couldn't have worn off yet. It was too soon. Harry wondered if Snape would let him make out a will before he died.

"Harry, you mean you tricked me?" Severus said, sighing, sounding almost hurt. He almost laughed at the confused look on the boy's face. "You mean to tell me that three wizards, one of which is underage, got a hold of a highly dangerous and illegal love potion, and used it to get two professors together?" Harry nodded. "Did it ever occur to you three dunderheads that one of those professors would figure out what was going on, seeing as how he was the Potions professor!"

Harry winced at Snape's yelling, though he couldn't deny that he was rather relived. A part of him was thrilled to have the old Snape back, while the other part was terrified of what the man was going to do to him.

Snape could no longer contain his fury. He'd managed the sickening displays of affection for long enough. Potter was going to feel every ounce of his wrath.

"You three are lucky that I, along with all the other professors, take the antidote to the Amortentia potion every year around this time, so we don't fall prey to an accidental poisoning."

Harry stood dumbfounded. Snape hadn't been affected at all. The man had been torturing him this entire time. He was torn between tears and laughter.

"I'm sorry, sir," Harry mumbled, still at a loss of what to say.

"No you're not, but you will be when I get done with you," Severus replied, a look Harry couldn't decipher crossing the man's face. "Since you and Gryffindor's resident troublemakers thought it would be fun to play cupid, I think a suitable change of attire is in need for you all week."

* * *

Harry's fingers were shriveled and numb. They'd been emerged in the soapy water for over an hour now. Surely this detention was almost over. Today would be the last day of his Valentine's Day punishment, as he'd come to call it.

The detentions, in Harry's opinion, were the best part of the punishment. Scrubbing cauldrons was easy. Nice and simple. And there was no one gawking or laughing .

Fred and George were of a different opinion. They hated the detentions, but rather enjoyed the attention they got prancing around the school in cupid outfits. Not regular cupid outfits either. No, instead of the normal red tights and pink wings, these were green tights with silver wings, Slytherin colors.

In exchange for not being expelled-honestly, who knew it was against school rules to dose teachers with illegal potions-Snape decided that the three of them would wear cupid outfits for an entire week in addition to serving detention every night. Harry wondered how Snape could get away with assigning this type of thing. It was ludicrous. Almost as ludicrous as the amount of fun Fred and George were having with the entire situation.

If Harry didn't know better, he'd swear Fred and George were in league with the Potions Master. After all, who ever heard of helping Snape correct essays as part of a detention, not to mention Snape allowing their banter while Harry was told to keep quiet while he scrubbed.

He and Snape could definitely agree on one thing: Valentine's Day was the worst holiday ever.

* * *

Hope your Valentines Day was better than Harry's!


End file.
